Different Minds, Different Meanings: Understanding Neurodiversity in HOA and Condo Living
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Two neighbors can hear the same words and walk away with totally different meanings and in a condo or HOA, that gap can turn into complaints, violation letters, and “why is this so hard?” moments fast. In this episode of Take It To The Board, host Donna DiMaggio Berger sits down with Ilia Walsh, Director of Individual and Family Services at the Association for Autism and Neurodiversity (AANE), to talk about the diversity we miss most often: the diversity of the human brain.
Together, Donna and Ilia unpack what neurodiversity and neurodivergent actually mean, why adult autism spectrum disorder and ADHD diagnoses are rising, and what a formal evaluation can look like for adults (including the real-world barriers of cost and access). Ilia also breaks down the exhaustion behind masking, the spoons analogy for daily energy, and why co-occurring conditions like anxiety, depression, OCD, migraines, and autoimmune issues can complicate everything.
Then they bring it home to community association living: how dense HOA documents and legalese can create confusion, why explaining the “why” behind a rule matters, and what to do when sensory sensitivities collide with multifamily realities like noise, smells, and shared spaces. They also talk about the double empathy model and a more human approach that improves communication without armchair diagnosing anyone.
Conversation Highlights:
- Defining neurodiversity, neurodivergence, neurotypicality, and the autism spectrum, and examining why these concepts have become increasingly prominent in public discourse.
- Exploring the wide range of autistic experiences and challenging the notion that autism fits a single recognizable profile.
- How growing awareness of autism and neurodivergence has improved public understanding while also fueling new stereotypes and misconceptions.
- Ways neurotypical individuals can adapt their communication styles to create more effective and inclusive interactions.
- How community associations, with their rules, procedures, and expectations, can present unique challenges for neurodivergent residents.
- How differences in tone, facial expression, directness, and social communication can contribute to misunderstandings between residents, boards, and managers.
- Sensory sensitivities, including noise and environmental factors, that may significantly affect autistic residents in shared community settings.
- The importance of awareness training for board members and managers while avoiding assumptions or amateur diagnoses.
- Practical improvements to violation notices, meetings, and complaint procedures that can make community associations more accessible and effective for all residents.
- Practical steps for improving interactions with neurodivergent individuals and building more respectful communication.
Related Links
- Podcast: The Mental Health Challenge with Chris Ayoub, President, RealManage
- Article: Advocate to Ally: Fostering Self- Advocacy in Adulthood – AANE
- Article: The Diagnosis Journey: A Guide for Seeking an Autism Assessment – AANE
- Resource: Services & Programs – AANE
About Take It To The Board
Think you know what community association life is all about? Think again. Residents must obey the rules, directors must follow the law, and managers must keep it all running smoothly. Take It To The Board explores the reality of life in a condominium, cooperative or homeowners’ association, what’s really involved in serving on its board, and how to maintain that ever-so-delicate balance of being legally compliant and community spirited. Leading community association attorney Donna DiMaggio Berger acknowledges the balancing act without losing her sense of humor as she talks with a variety of association leaders, experts, and vendors about the challenges and benefits of the community association lifestyle.
If you’ve got a question, Take It To The Board with Donna DiMaggio Berger – We Speak Condo & HOA!
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