Mind Your Manners: Restoring Respect in Condo, Cooperative and HOA Communities
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What if the secret to calmer board meetings, friendlier hallways, and fewer violation letters is simpler than passing another rule or regulation? In this episode of Take It To The Board, host Donna DiMaggio Berger invites nationally recognized etiquette consultant and author Jodi R.R. Smith to unpack how “etiquette is the younger sibling of the law” and why civility is a practical and effective leadership tool for all types of community associations. From trash cans set out too early to pickleball at midnight, Donna and Jodi translate everyday friction into neighborly fixes that work in real life.
Donna and Jodi walk through a proven communication playbook for big projects like concrete restoration and roof replacements: communicate early and often, explain the process in understandable terms, invite questions before votes, and host focused town halls. You’ll learn how to structure meetings without turning rules into a weapon, why your strongest communicator should tackle major announcements, and how to take heated online threads offline into productive, face‑to‑face conversations.
Donna and Jodi share clear guidance on shared spaces and pets—noise, waste, elevator etiquette, and the crucial distinction between service animals and emotional support animals. They also cover neurodiversity and cultural cues, showing how to adapt with kindness: narrate your intentions, choose the right medium for the message, and use asynchronous options when needed. Even travel gets a civility upgrade, with practical tips for surviving cramped flights without losing your cool.
Along the way, they revive two classic habits that still matter: RSVP promptly and send real thank‑you notes. Courtesy isn’t performative or old‑fashioned—it’s a scalable, repeatable method for reducing conflict, protecting and enhancing community value, and making shared living spaces more comfortable. If you’re a board member, manager, or resident who wants fewer blowups and better outcomes, this conversation is your field guide to everyday civility.
Conversation Highlights:
- Why etiquette still matters in an age that celebrates bluntness and “keeping it real.
- Practical meeting manners: How board and membership meetings can stay civil and productive
- Respectful communication during sales or rental screenings — for both interviewers and applicants
- Balancing ESA (Emotional Support Animal) rights with neighborly consideration
- Guest etiquette in “55 and over” communities — what visiting families should know
- Navigating the gray areas of shared amenities like gyms, pools, and clubhouses
- Pickleball diplomacy: showing courtesy when games go late or lights stay on
- Texting with tact — the essential “dos and don’ts” of modern communication
- When to overlook someone’s bad manners vs. when (and how) to gently correct them
- The one universal bad habit Jodi would fix with a magic wand
Related Links:
- Book: The Etiquette Book: A Complete Guide to Modern Manners
- Resource: Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting
- Online Class: Dealing With Difficult People
About Take It To The Board
Think you know what community association life is all about? Think again. Residents must obey the rules, directors must follow the law, and managers must keep it all running smoothly. Take It To The Board explores the reality of life in a condominium, cooperative or homeowners’ association, what’s really involved in serving on its board, and how to maintain that ever-so-delicate balance of being legally compliant and community spirited. Leading community association attorney Donna DiMaggio Berger acknowledges the balancing act without losing her sense of humor as she talks with a variety of association leaders, experts, and vendors about the challenges and benefits of the community association lifestyle.
If you’ve got a question, Take It To The Board with Donna DiMaggio Berger – We Speak Condo & HOA!
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